PATNA—Political scientists confirmed that voters still love welfare on paper but prefer it served hot next to a stage and a celebrity wave. One analyst said the problem is not policy but seating arrangement.

Parties updated manifestos to include a column for emotional subsidy. RWA in Noida asked if free bus pass covers journey to polling booth or only journey to complain about polling booth.

Exit polls will be replaced by exit snacks, sources said, because democracy is ultimately digestive.